Photo: No prizes for guessing where we started from

Tower bridge to the Arc de Triomphe in 24 hours

London to Newhaven, 93 km

“Do you need any extra bags in your cabins?” An unexpected helpful comment from the Frenchman on reception on the DFDS ferry from Newhaven to Dieppe. Or so we thought. “It’s because you cyclists are so dirty”. He then proceeded to show us photos of unflushed toilets saying “This is how cyclists leave their cabins”. A French welcome.

It didn’t get any better at immigration in Dieppe. As I have done so many times entering the Schengen Zone I showed my Italian Residency card and politley requested the Immigration Officer not stamp my passport as the 90 day rule does not apply. She said “I’m not interested in your residency. Just give me your passport”. I said that her colleagues in Calais had never stamped my passport but she wasn’t interested. She took my passport, slammed the glass door shut, saw on the screen how many times I’d entered the zone without a stamp then stamped it with a flourish. We’d just completed the first leg of our 24 hour London to Paris challenge starting at 16:05 Wednesday 24th April. Welcome to France.

We were friends from Islington Cycling Club (ICC).

L-R, Jyde, Mike, Colin, Andy, Stephen, Paul and David

The ride down to the coast was a nice warm up for the ride to Paris the following day. Just a couple of scheduled stops, one of which at The Crown at Turner’s Hill refuelled by Paul, the Snackmeister.

With time to spare before boarding the ferry we headed to a restaurant for…… pizza. It was very nice pizza, made by an Italian-Brasilian, but nevertheless it was pizza. Just what someone living in Italy really craves!

Dieppe to Paris, 193 km

If we got a cold reception from the French then the weather was even worse. Starting at 05:30, a couple of hours riding in 1° C was not ideal. If the French behaved like their stereotype then so did the only Scotsman amongst us. Andy the Aberdonian rode the whole adventure in shorts.

Things got warmer after our breakfast at Fourges les Faux (55km). But not before we had to overcome two obstacles. The first was watching Jyde play with his sex toy inner tube after a puncture.

The second was getting over the trauma of something truly horrendous. I’ve learnt a lot from living in Italy. Coffee is important. So much so I’ve been on a barista course to appreciate it more and make it properly.

Like me, I think the Lavazza family would take some time to get over the sight of what the French call a cappuccino.

One of our number struggled all morning with energy levels so we started to fall behind schedule. I’d cycled 413km in 24 hours without sleep a few weeks before so this wasn’t so bad for me. Four of us gladly shared the duties at the front as getting to central Paris for 16:05 was till possible but it would be tight.

The advantage of being at the front from time to time was the uninterrupted views of the French countryside. It was a great route to Paris.

We made our final pit stop at Meulan-en-Yvelines (145km). I didn’t realise where we were until I started recognising some of the streets and a sign to a neighbourhood, La Paradis, that I knew well. The last time I was there was over 20 years ago for the funeral of my dear friend Jean-Claude who I’d worked with at IBM.

The stop took longer than expected as we had a puncture just as we were setting off. We now needed a stroke of luck to make it within the 24 hours. The closer to Paris we got the more we were slowed down by traffic, lights and roadworks. We got closer and closer with the relentless clock ticking down towards 5pm local time.

After exactly 24 hours had elapsed …..

3km and15 minutes later …

We’d made it in 24 hours and 15 minutes. David suggested that as it was about 1% over the time then it was just a rounding error.

Another way of looking at it is that one less puncture and we’d have made it. We came within the width of an inner tube.

Another way of looking at it is that if I hadn’t argued for my rights at the border we’d have made it… only 14 minutes late.

Another way of looking at it is that we had a great time riding in two countries, on both sides of the road, a kip in a cabin, some great food, great riding and lots of banter along the way.

The most important way of looking at it was that we were able to do it at all. We were supposed to be a team of eight but our dear friend Gino had a cycling accident and couldn’t be with us. We dedicated the ride to him and raised our glasses. Forza Gino.

One Night in Paris

After our arrival beers and a shower we hit the town. As they say “what goes on tour stays on tour”. As most of us are of a certain age then that meant a meal in the bistro across the road from the hotel and then to bed. Nothing to see here.

The Long way home

One of the reasons I was keen to do this trip was after the 24 hour challenge we would take three days to ride to Calais for the ferry and train back to London. Nice and easy riding with little time pressure. A chance to chat in English and enjoy the ride. And so it was.

Paris to Beauvais, 93km

Once out of Paris it was a great run to Beauvais. An excellent lunch by the river at L’Isle-Adam (42km).

Over lunch the banter flowed. My imagination got to work and came up with the completely ficticious “Beast of Beauvais”, the final climb before the finish. Yes there was a climb, but it was 1.8km long and 66 metres of climbing. If it had been 666 metres then it would have deserved the moniker. I didn’t expect anyone to take me seriously. It wasn’t until we’d all topped out that the deception was revealed. Sorry guys. I will never be believed again.

Beauvais was delightful. The highlight of the evening was Isabelle the owner/chef of a restaurant specialising in “Exotic and African” cuisine. A strong, vocal Ghanaian women who we all loved. We tucked into that week’s specials of Senegalese food, entertained by a wonderful host. “A force of nature” one of us said. She paid us quite a compliment as we left but that will definitely be left on tour. If you are ever in Beauvais then check out Ô SAVEURS D’ISABELLE

Back at the hotel, French service returned. I considered washing some kit like the night before but abandoned the idea as I couldn’t get the heaters in the room to work. Even the radiator said….

Beauvais to St. Valery Sur Somme (104km)

Another stunning ride throught the Hauts de France countryside marred only by Jyde’s broken chain, Mike’s puncture and some rain. We were lucky to have Mike the Mechanic amongst us to repair the damage. None of this spoilt the joy of riding with friends through a beautiful landscape.

Arriving in St. Valery sur Somme, where William the Conqueror assembled his fleet, we found a bistro. “Sorry, but we only have snacks this afternoon”. Snacks turned out to be fantastic Moules Frites and Muscadet. Marvellous.

Only 2km from our hotel we faced a choice. Flat around the coast along a path recommended by Kamoot or up and over a small climb sticking to the road but taking more time. We followed the path which soon turned to sand. The time we saved on the shorter route was blown out of the water by having to wash seven bikes with three buckets and six clothes. Mike tried an alternative. It didn’t quite work, but gave us a good laugh.

St. Valery Sur Somme to Calais (125km)

Just to keep the French service culture theme alive there were nine of us waiting for breakfast at 07:00 as advertised. It suited the staff to open the restaurant at 07:10 so we started the day a little behind schedule. 125km in eight hours shouldn’t have been a problem, especially with a strong tailwind.

In my Italian club it’s traditional for the birthday person to buy the coffees and pastries on a ride. As it was exactly a week to go before mine then I picked up the tab for drinks and the very welcome croissant and ham/eggs rustled up by the helpful café owner at Montreuil-sur-Mer (51 km).

On restarting Kamoot gave us a hint of what was to come. Two completley unecessary detours, returning to the road a few hundred metres away.

As we were making good time Kamoot decided we needed slowing down by taking us along a farm track (67km). Not good news for those of us with rim brakes as so much shite was ground into our wheels. I used all my water at the end to wash them. It got significantly worse after this photo and poor Stephen had a puncture just to add a little more time pressure.

Thanks Kamoot. If only there was a 2 km detour to the right along tarmac roads that we could have taken.

Despite four punctures, two of them mine, we continued to make good progress pushed along by the wind.

17km from Calais I started to feel the bike wobble so I gently applied the brakes. To be fair I was doing 73.1 km an hour down a fantastic descent. That kind of speed ensured we arrived at the ferry terminal in good time. This time I didn’t show my residency card so that they would stamp my passport to match the entry one.

Once on board Andy kindly treated us in the traditional manner. Cheers Andy.

After the ferry, a train to London, then a short cycle home for everyone.

A huge thanks to my mates for a great experience, but especially David Mason for organising it so well and for putting up with our frequent ‘Are we nearly there yet?’ type questions over five days.

I travelled from Italy just for this expereince. Was it worth it? Absolutley.

Our final words are reserved for Gino.