Photo: Jens leading the way, as he often does

A dilemma. I needed one more 1,200+ km qualifying audax not in France, Italy or the UK to qualify for the Le Randonneurs Mondiale Super Randonneur 1,200 award. My options were Denmark or Ukraine.

I really wanted to go to Ukraine to show my support for the Ukrainian people. I planned to ride with a Ukrainian and Union flag on my bike to show that we haven’t forgotten them. I understood it would have been entirely at my own risk. Jan, the more sensible one of us, pointed out that if I fell or was injured I could of taken a hospital place that should have been for a war victim. She was right. Denmark it was. Specifically the Slagelse Sløjfe 1,300. 2nd – 6th August 2024.

The night before

I took the opportunity to get some sleep in the afternoon the day before the ride. I wasn’t that tired but I knew I might not get too much sleep during the night. Of all the hotels to pick I chose the Villeveng in Slagelse that had 30 Geordies (for international readers not familiar with the term, Geordies are people from Newcastle) celebrating their Viking style wedding. As it might have been a bit noisy, Jens, the hotel owner, put me in a room on the top floor above the party to help reduce the noise. He had no idea I had a bike bag to lug up the stairs (no lift). He felt so bad he poured me a beer. Cheers Jens. When we chatted he admitted he couldn’t really understand the Geordie accent so I offered to translate.

At breakfast at 05:30 I was expecting to hear a few “Whey aye man” but they were all soundly asleep.

Ebb and flow

One of the fascinating aspects of long distance riding is the way groups form and split along the way. Some last for just a few kilometres, some a few days, others lead to life long friendships.

My trip to Denmark not only featured a real wedding but also ‘flirting’, ‘engagements’ , ‘marriages’ and ‘divorce’.

Speed Dating

Before the start of an audax we usually chat with old friends and get to know some new people. This time I only knew Jens, a Danish rider I’d met on several events across Europe. Most of the chat was getting to know new people.

Speed dating was an appropriate term as we needed to complete the first 150km at a good pace. Many of us had booked the 13:15 ferry, meaning we’d have to complete 25km every hour for 6 hours to make it.

The ‘getting to know you’ theme continued when we made a quick stop to remove arm warmers and gilets etc. Using their second language the Danes described it as ‘an undressing stop‘. Brilliant.

Just the one scheduled stop at a control in Maribo (113km). As we approached we heard a shout. A van driver had stopped on the roundabout and was calling us over. A lone rider had caught the kerb and lay on the cycle path. He looked concussed and had broken his collar bone, later confirmed. My sole contribution was to find and give him his phone just before he got into the ambulance. We wish Finn a speedy recovery.

Thanks to some Speed Riding we arrived at the ferry port 45 minutes before departure.

Engagement

After chatting on the ferry we teamed up for the rest of the day. The Danes were strong, maybe too strong for me but I managed to stay with them and make my contributions on the front from time to time. On the ferry I’d said that they weren’t responsible for any of us but they were kind and we rode as a group. I’d made a point of trying to learn everyone’s name. Amongst the Danes we were Ari (Swedish), Doris, Jan, Jens, Luigi (Italian), Oliver (British but settled in Denmark), Stig, Stig and Tina.

I usually don’t get much sleep on these multi day rides but this one had been set up for sleeping in Fredericia for three nights. Having stopped at Bogense (283 km) for burgers and chips for dinner I enjoyed a shower and 5 hours sleep. Luxury.

Marriage

We were now a proper team. We set off from the hostel at 06:00 for the 327km loop back to Fredericia, skirting the German border. Jens led the pack for one of his 10-20km stints on the front but we stopped after two minutes as the lure of coffee and pastries in a petrol station was just too much to resist.

Lunch was a proper affair. We stopped at Gråston (457 km) in an old Danish pub for what was described to me as “fine cow“. It turned out to be a traditional dish called Mørbradgryde. Pork tenderloin in cream sauce with boiled potatoes.

I don’t usually write much about the food I eat on these long rides. I have an hiatus hernia and experience heartburn after a day or two which limits my eating to easily digestible, mostly dairy based food. Here I was having a proper lunch on a long ride. My thanks go to Gabriel, a fellow long distance rider and heart surgeon. He recommended I take a course of Omeprazole or similar. This was my first time. So far so good.

To mark the occassion some soldiers marched past and even played a jolly tune to celebrate my new found culinary freedom.

It’s possible that as Gråston is the location of the Danish Royal Family’s summer residence the march past wasn’t for me. Just possible.

We could tell we were a team as every time one of the Stigs had a puncture (3 times) a few of us stopped to help. I pumped up his new inner tube on every occassion, then after he’d used his CO2 cannisters I was able to help with another first. This was my first time not carrying CO2 cannisters but my Cyclplus electronic pump. It took about a minute each time to pump up his tyre. It left me with just one charge left for my own use but fortunately I didn’t need it and re-charged the pump overnight.

Then the rain came. Another first. I was running with my brand new Tailfin bag set up. Brilliant, but not cheap, it performed so well. Not only does the bag not sway at all, smoothing out the riding, but when things got wet I was able to unzip the side pocket, grab my rain jacket and put it on in seconds. Meanwhile poor Oliver was fumbling around in the same kind of bag I used to have, dropped a load of stuff in the wet and took ages to put it all back again. All my stuff remained bone dry despite the downpour. Oliver’s stuff was soaked. I’m sure the sales guys at Tailfin will be glad to hear that after that experience Oliver said “I’ve got to get me a Tailfin“. Here’s what my set up looked like before the start.

I don’t get paid for any product reviews but I can recommend Omeprazole, Cyclplus pump and the Tailfin system. They all worked well for me (well Stig in one case).

Typical of Jens, he carried on riding through the thunderstorm. Some of us waited out the worst of it in a farmer’s barn, then caught up with him later.

Separation

All good things come to an end. We still had 102km to go before the welcome embrace of a warm shower. After the storm Tina asked if we could go no faster than 30 km/h. Through the on and off rain we split and re-joined several times. I don’t speak Danish but I understood the pleas to slow down from time to time. Either way I was happy with whatever pace got us back in reasonable time.

Then the shame. As we reached Fredericia for the second time (650 km) it was 22:35. There was only one place open to get food. Please don’t judge me but I’ve not trangressed this way for 20 years. I promise not to do it again for at least another 20 years. As I sunk my teeth into the mush that was a Big Mac and fries I was reminded of the opening quote of my last blog entry about the Maratona Dles Dolomites. “I don’t know what I’m doing here ‘Cause it’s not my scene at all”. ‘A’ bomb on Wardour Street, The Jam, 1978.

Divorce

We didn’t even have an agreed departure time but we all appeared on Sunday morning at 06:00 to head off into the rain. I say all, Tina had been sick in the night and decided not to carry on. I hope she’s recovered ok. At the first coffee stop Jens and Doris carried on. Some of us just couldn’t continue without some form of caffeine. Soon after the stop the two Stigs dropped back. The group that had formed on the ferry two days previously was no more.

On the rebound

Having left one relationship we soon formed another. Luigi, Oliver and I formed a new partnership heading into the wind. “What about a paceline?” Oliver suggested. We rode for 2 km each at the front then dropped to the back. It was brilliant. We worked really well together. Just like any new relationship we were keen to impress eachother. This got us to the next control at Bork Hafn (763 km) in good time.

Enough time for lunch. Fish and chips. Result.

If Denmark doesn’t have hills, it has wind. The next 45km were hard. Down to 15 km/h at times as we headed north along the Western coast. Our reward came as we turned Eastward. Powered by a tailwind we flew to the next control at Ringkøbing (817 km) for ice cream.

The three of us agreed one thing. No way were we going to end up eating in that place we ended up the night before. Our mission was to find somewhere to have a decent dinner. We found it in Brande (881km). Pizza, Greek salad and zero alcohol beer. Heaven. The Omeprazole was doing it’s job. I was eating normally. Only 75km to go before our final night at Fredericia (956 km).

On my phone I keep Bluetooth switched off to save the battery. As we passed through Jelling (916 km) Bluetooth came back to life. This time it was the rune stone, known as Denmark’s birth certificate, laid in about 965 by King Harald Bluetooth.

Another 06:00 start on Monday morning. This time to catch another ferry from Århus (1,056 km) to leave Jutland behind and return to Zealand. We made such good time we enjoyed beef sandwiches at the marina. This eating properly was working for me.

Even better the ferry had a proper Marzocco espresso machine. Easily the best coffee I had in all my time in Denmark. On a ferry!

Room for one more

Getting off the ferry Jan joined the team. His explanations, in excellent English, of all things Danish and his sense of humour were a welcome addition.

Throughout the 1,328 km of the ride only once did we climb more than 100m above sea level. For context I live 267m above sea level and regularly have to climb up there at the end of rides. Høve was a ‘big’ climb. Used in the 2022 Tour de France Grand Depart it took less than three minutes and rose to a mighty 70m above sea level. At least it gave us one of the few panoramic views in Denmark.

It made me smile to see a bus stop painted in the Tour de France polka dots of the King of the Mountains. King of the slight rises doesn’t quite have the same ring.

Back on the coast road stopping at the Havnsø control (1,111 km). The guy behind the bar said “Thanks mate” in a strange Danish accent. “Where are you from?” I wondered. “I’m a Geordie me“. I’d met more Geordies in Denmark than I have for many years. I suppose it could be the genetic pull of the Norse people.

Heading back to the start at Slagelse we had two decisions to make. Where to eat and would we get some sleep before completing the final 139 km loop. We had plenty of time as we had until 21:00 the following day to finish, so we could easily do it on Tuesday morning.

The first decision was resolved easily. At Mullerup Hafn (1,153 km) we stopped for proper food and an excellent zero alcohol beer. I could get used to this.

The second decision lay with Oliver. I had already declared that I intended to sleep in Slagelse (1,196 km) that night and finish on Tuesday morning. Oliver was keen to finish and get home to Copenhagen so planned to ride through the night. When he started researching hotels in Slagelse we knew he was wavering. No room at the inn. As Jan and I had a room booked at the same hotel then I suggested he could come with us to see if he could crash in one of our rooms. Sure enough the same kind Jens who gave me a beer at the Villeveng Hotel said he could stay in my room free of charge.

We all agreed it was the right decision. We had a glorious last day in the sunshine starting at our now traditional 06:00. As Luigi said “It’s just like a Sunday morning club ride“.

On the way round Jan had a puncture. I used my electronic pump. As I didn’t use it once for myself the final score was Danes 3 – Colin 0.

One of the things I learnt from Oliver was that the local churches were maintained by voluntaring contributions. He pays the annual fee as they always have cold water and an immaculately clean public toilet. He said they had saved him numerous times on audaxes. We stopped at a few. They were always beautifully kept. This one at the Kirke Såby control (1,276 km) was typical, though you did need to remember the opening times if you needed the loo!

The finish was at Gert’s home (1,328 km). He had organised the whole thing himself. He did all the hard work of planning the route, organising registrations, bag drops and homologations. We just had to ride it. Which we did, finishing just after 13:00 with eight hours to spare.

After handing in our brevet cards and enjoying Gert’s home made cake there was only one thing left to do. Proper beer!

We headed into Slagelse to a little place I knew for lunch. Skål.

A big thank you to Gert for all the work organising the audax. Thank you to all the riders who kept me company along the way, especially Luigi, Oliver and Jan, to Stefano Mancini who maintains my bikes and to my wife Jan (yes confusing isn’t it) for her support. Without these people I would not have achieved my goal of:

Le Randonneurs Mondiale Super Randonneur 1,200

Four 1,200+ rides in four different countries:

1. 🇮🇹 Alpi4000, June 2022, 1,450 km
2. 🇬🇧 London Edinburgh London, Aug 2022, 1,540 km
3. 🇫🇷 Paris Brest Paris, Aug 2023, 1,220 km
4. 🇩🇰 Slagelse Sløjfe, Aug 2024, 1,328 km*

*subject to homologation, but no reason to think it won’t be.

One last thought. Denmark was a great place to ride a bike, if a little flat. Mandatory cycle paths were in good order and drivers were very considerate. Oliver said one of the reasons he lives in Denmark is that, apart from having a Danish wife, it is a very safe place to raise their children. Whilst I cycled 1,328 km around much of Denmark I didn’t see a single police officer, car or motorbike. Not one. A safe place indeed.

Tak Danmark.

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